Gratitude to God

If I were to spend every breathing moment
Thanking God
For my Mother
My Father
Those around them
I would fall short.
For every friend, companion of soul
Who ever shared a laugh
Who respected and protected
For any who loved me
And told me so
And even those who didn't
For an embrace, or an arm around the shoulder
Figurative, or otherwise
The welcoming ones who healed
In ways they have no knowledge of.
God bless them eternally,
Whether I was truly theirs or not
They've done enough to earn my prayer.

A Letter to Yen

Yen and I, January 2011

I sat in the heat
Looked to my left
And saw you atop
Of those stairs
Like heaven
And you walked down hurriedly
Dressed well,
As you do
Smiling,
Like you do
At first you didn't notice
Me alone
Then as you did
Paces became pacey
And you met me
Like a lost friend
That you are
And just as I wanted
To write it all down
I noticed your smile
Was on my face

We would have talked my friend
About why we were there
And as my eyes well up
Once more
I remember my harsh reality
If we could only live in dreams
Then we may share again
A word or two
A laugh or three
A day or four
Why stop there?
Even a life of more...

Talking to The Mirror

I could have been somebody
Laughable lament
Nonsensical nostalgia
At nineteen
Wondering what could have been
Had I held out and struggled

I had excuses though,
No excuses
Everything was set

Such an unsettled inner
Had me thinner though
For a period
Many that were parallel
With peace
But with permeable parameters
Osmosis of the focus shifting
Impulses passing thicker pulses

So you see I couldn't have had it
Trying wouldn't hurt
What if it did?
I'll never know
Will I ever know
I know that I could have
Why wouldn't I strive
I knew better than any the prize
Perhaps it skewed my eyes

Dusty Smiles

The dusty smiles settled
Voices ring in my ear
Rusty,
Simply red-like
Holding back the years
Of Laughter
Resonant with mothers, aunts
Their mothers and others
From an era sadly bygone
What time we'd forgone
In confinement
Each to their own
Moments as if stolen
From when I was six
1998 again

The homes I grew up in. My Nan still lives in the house on the right. 

We sang a song in school back then
Yesterday once more,
We'll meet again some sunny day
We'd say
Never thought I'd need to mean it
But now I feel it
Feel the need to say
Who'd have known I'd feel at all
Back when I didn't feel the need

Was it all together then?
I'd like to say it so,
What a blessing
To count when I couldn't
And now I hope they stay
It took loss for this gain
Heart engulfing pain
I prayed and prayed
For this but not for that
I didn't choose
But want to keep this and hold it close
Smiles that crept from pain
Like the scarlet concrete rose